Reverse cultural shock: Story of bringing sexy back, le me like Bilbo Baggins, Macklemore, Montenegro living and a bit more :)

This is a reflection on my life in previous month and my try to bring (sexy) back in Podgorica-Montenegro-Europe after a year at American University in Washington DC.

Meanwhile, my life suffered some significant changes.Last August, I arrived in the USA, with a lot of hopes, plans and dreams. It seemed that year will last forever. I was still missing my family and friends, but also was ready for all the future challenges.

The term culture shock is often used flippantly when talking about cultural differences and how we deal with them. It is often overlooked that culture shock is more than the source of funny anecdotes arising from cultural peculiarities or misunderstandings

Culture shock is in fact a serious phenomenon and a long-winded process, and thus definitely a force to be reckoned with when moving abroad. Depending on personality and circumstances, some people might find it easier to deal with culture shock than others. In its milder forms, culture shock can even go by virtually unnoticed. As an expat, however, you are unlikely to escape culture shock completely. The effects of culture shocks can be severe, and in some cases they are even are responsible for expat assignments being terminated prematurely. Fortunately, it is possible to prepare yourself for the culture shock phenomenon in its various stages so that it doesn’t hit you unexpectedly.

Is it even necessary to say that I had time of my life discovering all the pros and cons of USA, and how actually bizarre America was. Living in the capital- Washington DC, and traveling through 24 states, with all adventures, friends and experienced gained enriched me for life. Coming from Montenegro , small country in the Balkans  (ITS IN EUROPE for those who still don’t know) everything seemed magical. I had opportunity to see bright and poor side of America, which changed and shaped the way I think now.

After that great and long year of my “Americanization” (which btw was really successfully pulled off) I was supposed to pack and leave home. Easy thing. Sure. At least it seemed to be. I was indeed truly happy to come home, but also sad to remind myself I will not be back for a while. Saying bye to all of my friends, and to DC was not easy. Remember that "I am bringing sexy back" ? Well, sexy back could only be in a song, in real life things are quite different.

Packing was adventure itself; I discovered my new life skill was jumping on suitcase and crying after things I had to throw away. Later, things got real at the airport, where as usual I was faced with real life and laws- which did not agree with me on how much and what can I bring back. New life skills were re-packing on the airport, cursing airport workers slightly in my native language when they charged me, and leaving more things in USA.

On airplane from Munich to Belgrade, guy sitting in front of me was rocking some Balkan classics – Ceca, Dragana Mirkovic, Mile Kitic, etc.. After a year , I heard Balkan call of the wild. Still, coming back to Podgorica, my beautiful , small home town and capital of Montenegro was definitely what people call reverse cultural shock.

I remember the time when US people , when I would tell them I am from Montenegro, would show confused face and said : “Africa? Asia? Is it an island in the middle of the ocean?” Well, I came back. My building had some technical issues – we were short for Wi Fi, water and electricity. It did feel like I was in Africa, living first world problems.

Coming back, all of my family and friends were excited at first. Then they got back to their ordinary lives, telling me how they got used to me not physically being there. My friends still have exams, and I am done with all of them. I came like Bilbo Baggins, full of adventures and stories… and just like that poor hobbit, I got that “Oh you poor Bilbo” when telling my adventures. People asked me all the time about stereotypes,  and I spent time trying to explain that college life is not like in “American pie” and that America is not that bad, and people have to work really hard.

 Jetlag was the worst, it took me several days till I got back to normal sleep. I am still getting used to my favorite, most loved Montenegrin food. After a year of eating at my school, and in TDR and Tavern, sad thing is that I got completely used to the food. And instead eating wonderful food at home I was suffering for chicken tenders and similar stuff. Yup, by now everything is fine, love for good food is bigger than any reverse cultural shock.

Going out and walking out in Podgorica I realized some sad life facts:

• No metro in Montenegro.
• We are too small.
• No Starbucks.
• No dancing in the clubs and bars – you just go and sit all night long and its freaking annoying
• No Pandora. No Spotify. No Netflix. No Hulu.
• No on-line shopping
• School system and social life are really different.

Also, I was used to listening all that American music. All that Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, rep music.. basically everything.. Playing beer pong and laugh at people who grind and twerk. And a lot of people here didn’t even know for someone like Macklemore. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

Yes, and I still didn’t have a chance to say all of the stories, because I think no one will listen to my endless talk about American University, college life, dorms, parties, internship, DC, all the journeys.. Just like poor Bilbo Baggins.

Now, I laugh at myself, and how first days of come back I used to smile to all the people, be really kind, which in my city is considered unusual or non-existing , say “thank you” “hi how are you” and “sorry” all the time. I got judged all the time. And I was in a place where everything is about being judged how do you look and what do you think. Unlike in USA, where everything is about being busy and getting things done, here it was chilling, getting nothing done, but gossiping and judging all day, every day.

Eventually, things got back to normal. I live in a country that sometimes seems like a hopeless place economically, and it is facing a lot of challenges. Yet, its beautiful, unique and I am glad I am back. With all the energy and ideas, I am aspired to do some new things here, improve my life, and try to change at least something here, and make it positive. And if it doesn’t work? I will just go back to USA. This time, with no shocks of any kind. At all.

True fact is that there is no place like home. Even if everyone here are different, its still my home. Place were people drink, go out and dance with folk music, still not knowing about Macklemore, thrift shopping, Starbucks frappucinos, what is wobbling or dougie dance. Where you will be looked down at for not having branded clothes. Where a lot of people still don’t recognize email as way of communication. But it’s a place where your family is, where you can hang out with your friends, and with a drink or two in hand and with great food you can laugh and joke about everything. With beautiful and stunning nature , it’s a little heaven on Earth. Mission is trying to enhance the pros, and decrease the cons of living in Montenegro. Since it can get any worse, I want to try to make it better. People deserve it. And this beautiful country does too. So, as I am finishing this blog and eating REAL fruit, reminding myself how funny everything seemed, some guy living above me is rocking with Nedeljko Bajic Baja. In other words, it does says welcome back. I am home.

The truth of the matter is that nothing has changed, except me. Allowing yourself to be fully immersed in a completely alternate culture, ingratiating yourself to people of an entirely different background and welcoming their ideals and aspirations into your heart will leave you profoundly altered, irrevocably changed and hopefully thrilled by your evolution as an active worldly citizen of this beautiful planet. In the end, I can I say I brought a sexy back. Yeah. #notactually
Farewell, y`all till my next blog post.