Coming out in the DPSmocracy and something else other than upcoming LGBT pride.

Brace yourself, Sunday is coming. Lets hope it wont be remembered as the bloody Sunday. Tomorrow, for the first time, LGBT Pride Parade is about to take place in Podgorica – capital of Montenegro. You know - that cute, small country in the Balkans – South East of Europe.

What else is new globally? USA government shutdown , then it brought (sexy) back. The rest of the world cared more about their national things, Nobel Prize for peace was not given to Malala and Montenegro received report from Brussels on (non)progress we achieved in the process of joining EU.

Recently, all the media are full on various reports o LGBT pride, judgments, calls for quitting – like they did it in Serbia too. This is the time when our biggest test is coming – are we ready to  accept that someone is different than us and has right to be different ?

Montenegro. Country of democracy. Country on its way to join  European Union. Give me a break please. This is what democracy looks like:

1.       Same party has been governing (and pretty much same people) for last 20 years.

2.       Corruption in every social sphere and nepotism are two main issues in the country.

3.       Minorities, women and children of ordinary people (the mortals or the muggles) are being discriminated or face difficulties in every day situations

4.       Church is everywhere in the country and our “religious and spiritual leaders” call on hatred speeches , politics and business rather than focusing on ideas and spirit of true Christianity

5.       Montenegro supported possibility of military attack on Syria. Please forgive us!

6.       At the same time, we showed incapability to deal with our own issues and have been selling the best of our country to foreigners

7.       Do I even have to say how to voting system goes in here? Pure democracy

8.       Public administration and bureaucracy are in complete control of big number of state affairs, completely corrupted and lets be  honest – completely incapable of getting anything done

9.       Human rights respect, sexuality, women rights, freedom of the media – taboo.

10.   So much progress on paper, misery in real life.

Don’t worry, this democracy isn’t so bad. The country gets better and gets a lot of pinky promises before the election. I think they should be held every month, for the sake of citizens.

So, upcoming pride parade is way too mainstream now – people telling jokes, pejorative calling of LGBT population can be heard every day, curses, preparation for violence or support for the group… I am not going to discuss further on this, because in this country , being gay, being different  is abnormal. Good thing is we all have an opinion on this , but no one has opinion on 10 sad facts I mentioned before.

If you feel annoyed by people not reacting and being cool with the country`s sink, or say that in public – everyone consider you a SERB and a state enemy. NO. I am just a citizen who thinks with its own head, says its opinion, is not afraid to come out as responsible citizen and say – THIS COUNTRY NEEDS TO GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER, OR ALL OF US ARE GOING DOWN.

Yet, people care about more about parade and who is going to come out from the closet on Sunday. I say yes to the walk, because I don’t think any minority group should live in the closet, afraid and discriminated. This blog goes to all those cowards, closed minded people, hiding behind their parents, teachers, bosses back and afraid to come out and do something good for their own country.

I see all those barbarians and violence coming tomorrow. All the negative feedback on LGBT pride. Well, why don’t you just come out of your own closet, my dear citizens? Why don’t you accept that someone has right to be different and let them be?

Its easy to hate and curse, and hide behind the politics , church, mom and dad, anyone. This is the problem with this society – we judge those who came out as who they are and what they feel, and yet most of us are not able. Not able to say no to corruption, discrimination, nepotism, grey economy, DPSmocracy we live in here, nepotism, etc… And it makes me sad and angry.

John F. Kennedy once said – Ask yourself what can you do for your country, not only what your country does for you. Imagine, like John Lenon once sang – its easy if you try – if every citizen did something good for Montenegro, and its progress. Not judging others and looking at welfare for all.

I hope one day we will have a parade when all of us will come out as active citizens of Montenegro and EU. Till then, I say yes to those who had courage, for all those having opinion and mouth open but doing nothing and staying closed-minded… I feel sorry for you. May the force be with us, who are not cowards, poltroons, etc.. who are not afraid and who think.

I have a dream that one day, this country will be a true example of human rights respect, social progress and democracy. We have the potential in  us, it just needs to get out of the closet and not be afraid. We shouldn’t be afraid of the government, government – since not doing a good job should be afraid of the citizens. Looking forward to the change, if it ever happens. In the meantime, peace y`all !

Gender issues as taboo topic in Montenegro, and why advocating for that is like a Star Wars. Education and equality as a requirement to join EU family and some statics on discrimination.

Montenegro is currently on its way to Europe. All roads that we are on right now lead to Brussels, if we close successfully all negotiation chapters. If you turn on the TV or the news, you can hear about some amazing process we are achieving in becoming a member of European family.

Yet, if you take a walk around ministries, or streets, sit in a cafee or something, all you will hear is people COMPLAIN. Low income, corruption, nepotism, environmental issues - chapter by chapter what we need to do.

Country duty in the process is to engage a lot of money and human resources in the process. But a lot of people, instead being educated to be quality human resources just sit around and wait for EU to come, raise salaries and fix everything. Sometimes I wish our ministries and institutions were cool like Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. And then I say to myself – I am just a muggle.

Aside all 50 shades of grey things we have in the society, gender equality is the darkest shade. I wonder how that is constantly being skipped and avoided, and on the other hand – advocated in a completely wrong way. As everything in this country, government has a super plan how to implement gender equality through institutions. When you ask them , they are like “Oh, yeah – we are totally advocating and doing all measures to reach equality” Why then women are discriminated in every area in this society? Here are some facts.

1. There are no official education on gender and equality in any school segment, and Universities in Montenegro have no department or offer no classes on gender, power and politcs. (Let me remind you that gender studies are amongst prosperous social science areas).
2. Illiteracy in the country is higher with women – especially in rural areas. (#SmashThePatriarchy)
3. Women in sport, disregarding their success, are not equal with men.
4. Huge discrimination of women on labor market. (Laws on labor are not being properly applied)
5. Women are more unemployed than men.
6. During job interviews women face sexism, comments and judging on their looks, marital and family status, which is not a case for men.
7. Men hold more leading social position than men.
8. There is a lack of women in political life and women as political leaders.
9. Health system is sensitive to gender discrimination – (from general checking to aborting issues)
10. VIOLENCE on WOMEN. Taboo topic in the country. Violence in family, physical, mental, sexual, etc – we all know it exists, and we all ignore it. For example – 85% of people will report noise in the building from party, but less than 12% will report domestic and violence on women.
11. Women do not participate equally in decision making processes in the country with men

If you compare the data, you notice one thing – it gets worse as you go north. Just like in Game of Thrones, winter is coming in the field of gender equality – many girls don’t even get secondary education. Also, there are no proper institutions to inform women and men on their rights, on equality, no school education. Nor did any governmental institution did any successful reform in the system.

Its really cool, as my professor said. But people must fight this. Both women and men should be included in the process of integration, education and fight for gender equality, education and empowerment of the girls and women. Beyonce said it and I agree – girls do run the world. Women are capable of running a family and business and a country at the same time.

Ofc, it is a star wars situation with this – war against discrimination. And I don’t think EU will play Jedi knights or master Yoda in the story – its up to us to do it.

If not, guess we can join all the Stan company countries (Pakistan, Kyrgystan, Kazakhstan..) and face the darkest of fifty shades of grey. I am not calling for women domination or radical feminism, but desperate times like this require desperate measures. We must fight, advocate and implement equality to some level. If we ever change political figures, we may hope for woman president… Or just for better living standard.

Let the equality fights begin. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

Times are hard for dreamers. How to crush 50 shades of grey economy and bad social well-fare. Why is important to volunteer and how they do it in UK/USA.

Last month I attended a seminar in Worcester, England, on the topic of personal development, employability and non formal learning and how it can improve and influence social welfare. Of course, there was a clear division with the perspective and of the participants from Balkan countries and EU people, but I discovered that a lot of EU countries face the same problems and attitudes toward the topic.

TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS. This quote comes from one of my favorite movies, Amelie and is a very true statement. I am a dreamer with a lot of wishes, plans and ambitions not just for myself, but also for my country and also for this world. I believe we should all give our contribution to make this world a better place, and like a Miss Universe or something I want peace in the world and many things to get better. We might not reach perfection, but by gathering positive thinkers and starting some action we can prove the hope in and for humanity should not be lost J

What I encountered in England was a great culture of kind people, Beatles, beer, Harry Potter, royal baby, royal family, rainy days, green countryside and dull food. London was brilliant and I think “Please mind the gap between the train and the platform” got stuck in my head for 3-4 days. On seminar and in practice I learned a bit about education, economy and social state in the country and about community service standards. I was able to compare and contrast it to my living in the Balkans and United States. In UK it’s a standard to volunteer and help out in your community, in numerous ways. It is not just as a addition to CV, or college application but it’s a culture, non formal rule. All people do it, despite age and gender, when they have time – on weekdays and weekends. They enjoy it. Talking to local people in Worcester I saw how they see volunteering as a personal development and learning process, not just charity – because they get new skills, knowledge and experiences. That’s the point – not only do we enrich ourselves by volunteering , but we help our community, society and the world.

Community service in the United States is also well developed – students do it a lot and so do adults – they cherish non-profit world, build networks and strengthen their CVs and application.

Community service also allows those participating to reflect on the difference they are making in society. Some participants of a community service project may find themselves gaining a greater understanding of their roles in the community, as well as the impact of their contributions towards those in need of service. Because community service outlets vary, those who serve are exposed to many different kinds of people, environments, and situations. 

With each new community service project, some participants may gain insightful experience in a variety of areas. Participants may also internalize the information that they found personally insightful for future use. While simply performing community service is valuable to the recipients, those serving often find it beneficial to pause and reflect on how they are changing society for the better. Schools often take students on community service projects in order for them to gain a greater understanding of how their individual actions affect the well being of the public. Participants may find that the giving of themselves to the public good may result in a more solidified view of self and purpose. 

And then you come back to the Balkans, where often you are unaware how to volunteer and made laugh by the others for doing free work. ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, MONEY, MONEY… And its not only Balkans problem.  I understand how different socio economics conditions took away volunteering possibilities for many people – working full time, trying to get by, support a family etc.. But I also believe a big education should be done in this field, especially for all those unemployed people, drinking coffee all day , every day in various coffee shops around the Balkans and wider. Young and old folks should learn all the ways to volunteer, why it is beneficial and how it helps, also how much do they gain from it. During college, we are required to get some skills and experience. Today, accent is often on the non formal learning and what we actually did as socially responsible individuals or young leaders, not only do we have a degree and from what school. People justify themselves how they don’t have time to do community service in the Balkans, because there is no money/time/results. But you have money, time and results in drinking coffee and playing gossip girls and boys all day, every day ?! GIVE ME A BREAK. All it takes to do good is a smile, positive energy, very little time and initiative and a lot of hope and courage. All over Europe people will consider you a fool if you work for free. Well, I say only those fools will be able to break 50 shades of grey economy and lead to changes and progress. Just look at this – Big depression and First Big Global economic crisis in the USA was beaten by volunteering. Also, Balkan people were world example – THEY BUILT AN ENTIRE COUNTRY AFTER THE WAR , WORKING TOGETHER AND VOLUNTEERING TOGETHER . So , if history repeats, why didn’t someone tried to copy Roosevelt`s New Deal, adjust it and find a way out of this crisis we live in ?

Main purpose of the story is confirmation of what I learned in the USA and UK – it is not about how much money you make, what school did you go to in CV or  in real life. It is about how much you are ready to give and work and to expect in return, and what do you believe in and how much you can improve through non formal seminars, trainings, community work, etc.. World did it several times, it just takes another perspective and motivation to happen again.

I volunteered from elementary school- collected donations, cleaned, collected garbage, tutored, protested and did so many actions and will keep doing so, no matter what people say. Maybe I cannot change the world, but I can affect progress in someone`s life, create an example and make someone happy and smile. And then I think to myself, what a wonderful world. J

This is just my perspective and I truly hope it will inspire someone. As Mother Teresa said, “we ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”